Wagons West

Howdy Ya'll,

Okay, so with my imminent departure from this place, I thought perhaps it was time to reflect about I will miss about this place.* Here it goes...

In no particular order:

• Rolling brown outs from generator switchover
• Random anti-terror measures at the DFAC (i.e. - "use this entrance, no that one, no this one.")
• Chicken, chicken, chicken!
• Low flying helicopters....with guns.
• Hot, young reservists....with guns.
• Walmart greeters....with guns.
• Nothing says "I love you" like a mortar attack.
• Arabic television
• Pull tabs on cokes
• The metric system
• Portable chemical toilets at 02:00
• Fashion TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Pirated hajji movies.
• Coke Light (which actually tastes different than Diet Coke)
• Military acronyms
• Visible armband identification (bye bye CAC card)
• Concrete barriers (outside my front door)
• Black water (like waking up to the smell of coffee, only not)
• $3 haircuts
• Up armored vehicles
• Outgoing rounds

*Some items will not actually be missed. In fact, some items will be forgotten promptly upon departure. The chicks with guns will be remembered, along with Coke Light.

-Pooh out.

Coolest Bike Ever! 

Toscana Countryside 

Blogger Duress

Howdy Ya'll,

Okay, so I was "persuaded" into blogging immediately. She's much tougher than I am, so I am apt to comply with such intimidation. Here it goes...

Alright, so OMD and I were indulging in reminiscence at our previous year here in Iraq, when we came to the startling realization as to why we were truly here. Socks and underwear.

Now, I do not want to steal his blogging thunder, because I have seen a proof of his planned discussion of said undergarments (literary contemporaries often collaborate in fits of genius) and his is truly an inspired work. My post will serve merely as a forward to his enlightenment.

Men are curious creatures, and class distinctions can be found among them by observation of their unmentionables. To elaborate, life is more than just boxers and briefs, because it encompasses levels of use and condition.

All men grow attached their undergarments of choice. Athletes attribute performance to lucky socks, while businessmen will don their lucky briefs to ensure a successful contract negotiation. It is all very silly, I know, but I'm wearing a good pair of boxer briefs right now, and I think I'll have a good day as a result.

Furthermore, men are weary to part with such garments of luck and good fortune. Of course, it's more than likely a result of the male inability to plan ahead on such matters. See, we don't go buy new socks and underwear when we need them. In our minds, it is an act of excess and extravagance reserved for only the most privileged of society. New socks without holes or broken elastic, and the fresh pair of undies exhibiting no holes, broken waist bands, or unsightly sag in the seat, are a rich man's indulgences.

With that, we discovered the true purpose of our employment in this war zone. I will no longer take on the disgrace of shoddy undergarments. I will not suffer the shame of exposed toes, nor will I hang my head while delicately handling a pair of structurally unsound underwear upon discovery of a new hole.

I have raised my standard of living. I have achieved class distinction. I will have new socks and underwear. I will live a life of excess in which I can dispose of undergarments indiscriminately at the first sign of failure. I will purchase multiple pairs of underwear. I will have a plethora of quality socks at my disposal. I have been reborn. I am a new man. A man of new socks and underwear. Envy me.

-Pooh out.