Gamma Fitness

Howdy Ya'll

Okay, with summer upon us, there is the annual uproar of renewed fitness and new optimism. I have heard many discussions and goals from coworkers, friends, and overly eager strangers caught up in the fitness bug.

In the spirit of cooperation and good will, I wish to promote a fitness regiment with sure fire results. While not a new idea, it has gained new popularity, especially in the Hollywood studios.

It is actually quite simple, and only requires two factors:

1. Accidental exposure to a near lethal dosage of gamma radiation.
2. Combined with deeply recessed feelings of anger and resentment.

After that, a steady regiment of loss of temperament, frequent opportunity at battle with inhuman foes, and a nagging desire to "smash" things, will have you feeling not only strong and lean, but practically invincible.

The only downside, perhaps, is the probability of a greenish hue one might exhibit during a workout. Results will vary.

Good luck with your fitness goals and enjoy the new you.

-Pooh out.

Grounded

Howdy Ya'll,

Well, I'm finally back from R&R, and none too soon, I can tell you. While I would like to recap in detail the tremendous enjoyment offered in Italy, I have to take this moment to criticize the Iraqis instead.

It would appear that the airport is closed indefinitely for the moment to commercial air traffic. This cessation of air traffic is the fault of the Iraqi Ministry. Apparently they haven't paid the security firm providing service to the airport, and they have all decided to leave. This is foolishness of a grand scale on their part, because it only hurts the Iraqi people. Expats can easily catch military flights to other parts of the middle east and fly from there, but the Iraqi population is now grounded.

With my travels in the last week, I have decided, without doubt that the Middle East is not worth our efforts. Most of these people are crooked and juvenile. In spite of our efforts, they continuously demand something for nothing, while continuing to criticize the coalition efforts over here. The Iraqi military is a Marx brothers routine, the economy is trashed, and the work force is useless at best. Of course, the global community attributes this to the US, but I have seen kindergarten children learn faster than this.

As a result of this revelation, I have grown disgusted and tired of this place. I will be going home before summer's end. I will always believe that Saddam's removal was an essential and necessary action, but I have also come to realize that restoration of this country will require drastic changes. We no longer need to coddle these children. It is time to wipe their slate clean and make them start from scratch. An even better decision would be to take it away from the people and make it our own. I am not a social relativist. I believe that we are right, and they are wrong. I now think that the rest of the world did not wish us to come here because they knew that we would come to this realization eventually, and some people just don't like to admit when things have gone terribly wrong.

We have given this government billions of dollars to fix their country. They obviously can't do it on their own. It's time to do it for them. Diplomacy is not an option.

Okay, I'm done.

-Pooh out.

Buona Sera

Howdy Ya'll,

Well, how's this for exciting! A quick little blog from the Italian countryside. We are currently enjoying our last evening of Florence (Firenze), after a whirlwind 6 days between here and Venice. It has been wonderful so far.

Tomorrow will see us on our way through the Tuscany region with an overnight visit to Chianti and a pleasant drive down to Rome. It's all very exciting!

I'll fill you in with all the juicy details of adventure, romance and narrowly escaping death later. Until then, just remember that we are having enough fun for everyone so just enjoy this vicariously. We'll make sure to eat enough gelato for everyone.

Arrivederci,

-Pooh out.

Fowl Days

Howdy Ya'll,

Chicken. Lots and lots of chicken. I dare say we are discussing a plethora of chicken. Nay, a cornucopia of chicken! I digress.

While I am unsure of the exact number, it would be safe to presume that today marks the 425th day that I have eaten chicken in Iraq. I specifically identify by days because one would need to double that number when considering individual meals at which I consumed a chicken based entree.

Excessive though this may sound, do not fret for I have actually found an alternative to eating chicken at the DFAC. Today I ate chicken from a chicken joint! Yes, you read correctly, and I did say chicken joint. Of course, as one would surmise, a "chicken joint" is an establishment (joint) that serves chicken primarily. Popeye's Chicken would be an prime example of the aforementioned "chicken joint." In fact, it was Popeye's Chicken that offered the alternative to the DFAC chicken.

For many moons we have watched in eager anticipation for the eminent opening of Popeye's. That day has arrived. It was was such a blessing to find a reprieve from all that chicken I was eating. Nothing like the taste of expensive chicken to wash away the taste of free chicken. I think I will begin alternating my dining schedule between chicken and chicken, just so that I do not grow bored with eating so much chicken.

You know what the say, "too much of a good thing."

Cluck, cluck.

-Pooh out.