I Hear Arizona Is Nice In The Summer

Howdy,

I knew it would get hot here. Heck, this is a desert! One of the things I didn't consider, though, was the lack of humidity. I have determined that the sun is much closer to the earth in this country than anywhere else. Perhaps a subspace anomaly (sorry, I've been watching lots of Star Trek) that brings that big burning ball of gas closer to the planet is certain areas. I would have assumed that the anomaly was limited to the middle east, except that one of my coworkers is from Arizona, and she seems to be perfectly at home in this dry roaster.

Okay, so it isn't really that bad here, but apparently it is only going to get more hot as the days go by. This is one of those sauna like dry heats, as opposed to the pleasantly hot and humid summer days in Texas. Those great summer days along the gulf coast, surrounded by the sea breeze off the shore. I remember the great smell of sea gulls, salt air, and dead fish. Sweet memories.

Oh, and another strange atronomical anomaly is that while the sun is closer here during the summer, it seems to move further away during the winter, because it was really cold here when I first arrived in February. Okay, so it was cold for a kid from Texas, but it was still cold. I guess the wonders of the universe will never cease to amaze. Now, having explained all of the wonderfully contrasting temperatures here, I can assure you that I am writing this blog in a comfortably air conditioned office, so I have no real complaint. I just thought you would like to know how fun the weather is around here.

Make sure that if you ever take a vacation (because you might be crazy or something) to the middle east, that you bring a good pair of sun glasses, a big brimmed, floppy hat, strong sun screen, and an affinity for glistening sweat. What am I talking about? You are all from Texas anyway, we wouldn't know what to do if we weren't drenched in sweat by the time we walked from the house to the car. It would be fun!

Okay, that is enough of my travel recommendation for the day. Pretty soon all the work around here will pay off, and a decade or two from now, Baghdad will be a thriving tourism hotspot, and you will all be prepared and ready to go. Until then, I would suggest a trip to Greece, but I reserve the right to change my recommendation once I have actually been there.

-Pooh out.

It's All Greek To Me

Howdy All,

I am sorry that my postings are sparse as of late, but I do have a good excuse, I promise. When I think of it, I will let you all know.

Anyway, I thought I would take this time to discuss the upcoming trip to Greece. In part to consider the wonderful ramifications a trip like this will impart upon my wife and I, and also to make you all very jealous of my global exploits. Either way, it will be insightful.

The whole story begins with my less than successful attempt at taking classical Greek while attending Texas A&M. This was, of course, during my brief stint as a philosophy major. Yes, I know, how in the heck did I go from philosophy to construction, well that is a topic for later discussion. Anyway, the attempt was futile, or lackluster at best, except for the cute redhead also in my class. We studied together some, which is the only reason I skirted through that class with any semblance of dignity. Greek, especially classical Greek, is a difficult language to learn because in addition to grammar and vocabulary, there is a new alphabet to learn as well. Although, it is a rather enjoyable language to write, artistically speaking. Of course, in the study of any language, it is imperative to learn of the source culture, which is why Greek history has remained relatively interesting to me, regardless of my lack of success in learning the language.

Fast forward a few years, add in the rare opportunity to work in Iraq, and factor in the requirement of promising my wife an awesome vacation as penance for my leaving, and now I have the opportunity to visit the cradle of western thought and philosophy; not to mention science and architecture. Okay, so we will enjoy beautiful black sand beaches, and lots of good alone time, but that sounds so simplistic that I will pretend that I have higher goals in mind.

The real truth is that I have not seen my wife in 4 months, and I really don't care where we go. Again though, I have promised her a wonderful trip, and that is a promise I will deliver. We are going to have a wonderful time, and will hopefully bring back some great memories to share. I leave in 11 days to meet her in Athens. From there it will be a 10 day adventure for the two of us, the likes of which we have never had before.

Kalispera ya'll.

-Pooh out.

Sand Trek - The Next Generation

Howdy Ya'll

Well, I thought I would take some time out of my extra busy schedule to give you something to read while you are distracting yourself on the internet avoiding your extra busy schedule as well. You can't fool me, I know you are surfing the internet instead of paying attention at work or getting busy on those chores waiting to be taken care of. Heck, I can't blame you, what do you think I'm doing?

Anyway, I just thought I would fill you all in on the current addiction taking hold of the schedulers here at Victory. (Okay, there on only two of us, but we can call it an epidemic for the sake of argument) We have been absorbed in Star Trek - TNG. Of course I was an avid trekkie as a kid when these first came out, as many were, but now that they have released entire seasons on DVD, it is a whole new experience when one watching so many episodes consecutively. Now, don't come to a conclusion just yet. I haven't been skirting my responsibilities while watching these episodes, rather, I am getting very good at watching TV on a 1x1 inch screen up in the corner of my computer screen. As a matter of fact, as this is being composed, I am watching! Life is rough over here. I mean, just imagine having to work all day long will watching movies and hanging out with friends. Yes, it is a hard life, but someone has to do it.

It is a fortunate circumstance that I find myself surrounded by Trekkies, and that by our efforts we have been expanding interest by others. I am currently on Season 5, and have many more episodes to go. Now, I know that we could get into the many social and theoretical topics of conversation that Star Trek provokes, but I will spare the sanity of those who hold no interest in such discussion.

I hope you all find yourselves well. Another month is coming to an end, and I must say that I am fighting every urge I have to go into R&R mode. It is less than 3 weeks, and I am ready. As fun as this dust encrusted oil barrel is, I would like to see something else. Call me crazy, but a Gulf Coast kid finds comfort in dirty warm waters.

Okay, you have all enjoyed the distraction long enough. Get back to work, and go about your day. I hope I have helped add a little pleasure in your day. :)

-Pooh out.

Unplugged And Unproductive

Howdy All,

I thought I would explain how much we have all come to depend upon the internet for communication by relaying the events of this past week. Recently, we have been having real problems with our network connection, not only here, but throughout KBR in Iraq. To the extent that our entire satellite uplink was down for two days, consecutively. All of our communications are via satellite, including all phone lines as well as email. We came to a near standstill in operations. At least the sort of work I am doing. While are basic services to the military were not interrupted, the flow of information came to a crawl. I have grown accustomed to relaying questions and information regarding the schedules I produce via email. In addition, most of my site managers provide updated information to me via email. To top it off, because of the structure of our network, with the uplink offline, most of our computers would not operate correctly.

Along with the interruption of work, I was cut off from the rest of the world. I could not call my wife, email anyone, or post to the blog. As far as anyone was concerned I could easily have just disappeared off the planet. We were an island unto ourselves. I cannot imagine what it was like prior to the internet, and the growth of these online capabilities have only come to fruition in just the last few years. I saw the progression during college, as we moved from small, sparsely supplied computer labs, and the occasional personal computer in the dorms, to fully networked dormitories, and phenomenally well equipped computing centers for student use.

Now, of course, we made it happen around here. I took the old fashioned approach of driving over to my site managers offices, and ask questions verbally. I even used real paper with hand written notes. It was exciting having to "rough it." Fortunately, we made it through, and are now up and running full force. My monthly schedules are coming along nicely, and everyone is catching up with their emails. To tell you the truth, though, I have always enjoyed working with actual human beings, and it was nice to get out of the office to see people that normally become only email addresses in my mind. I think I will keep it up.

- Pooh out.

The Great Office Migration

Howdy All!

Today has been an exciting one. We (Project Controls) have moved offices. We now have our own nice little office trailer to provide us a small semblance of peace and quiet. It is still a little tight, but there will much less traffic around our desks, and the opportunity to get quite a bit more work done.

The previous arrangement was not too bad, but there were about 50 people all piled into one large building with no division of work area. Most all of the employees got along, but the problem comes with the different traffic that each department pulls. Human Resources of course has employees piling through, and payroll is just as bad. The real fun comes during "subcontractor day" when all the local Iraqi contractors show up for their payments. Most are very nice, but these people do not have the concept of personal space as we would understand it, and therefore find no problem in hovering over you. I do not believe it is intentionally bothersome, they just do not feel the same way about the "personal bubble" as the rest of us.

Anyway, all in all, it is a good change. Dan and I have our own little scheduling area now, the estimators are near by, and cost control is happy on the other side of the building. We are just one big happy family.

Okay, I better get back to work, but just wanted to say howdy to all, and wish you all a wonderful day. Also, enjoy the new and improved Pooh Goes East blog spot!

-Pooh out.

Answering The Call

Pooh Bear comes out of hibernation.

Howdy All,

I have decided to resume this endeavor in full force. The decision was made following the great response from you readers, friends and family all. While I would like to attribute my decision to witty and sardonic contemplations, the truth is that I just felt the need to ramble, and this is my easiest outlet.

Besides, I have the distinct opportunity, nay, responsibility to expunge my wits and wisdoms upon a hapless and unsuspecting public. I will qualify that, though, with the following disclaimer:

This is intended for entertainment purposes only. This author takes no responsibility beyond giving his opinion and perspective of things he experiences, which may or may not be thought provoking, insightful, or useful to the good of mankind. If you find offense to anything I may say, or find issue with my use of this blog, more power to you, but I don't care. If you take the time to contact me and complain, great, but not only will you not be given the pleasure of a response, you can be assured that when I get back to the states I will find you and break your jaw. Seriously. (This is the only serious moment here, don't worry, I will lighten up.) You will not be allowed to mouth off without being prepared to accept the full consequence of your actions. You have been warned. If that is an acceptable term for you, then by all means, please email me. Otherwise, reconsider.
These comments have not been evaluated by the FDA. Not intended to treat, cure, or prevent any diseases. Spokesman has been compensated.

Okay, lets get to work! Go team!

-Pooh out.

Permanent Hiatus (Temporarily)

Blog discontinued until further notice

Due to recent response to my blogger postings, I have decided to discontinue the use of this online forum. This journal was intended to entertain and inform others of my own personal experiences, observations, opinions, and otherwise unimportant ramblings. One of our less mature website visitors has taken offense to my use of this forum as anything other than a platform for idealistic, bunny fluffy prose about life, politics and social good. I have made this decision because I am here to work, not to enlighten myself with fanciful thoughts of world peace or grand ideals. I am not here to experience this desert wasteland or learn to appreciate these simple people. In that regard, even if I intended otherwise, I would not have an opportunity because I work on a freaking military base, not on a tourist map! In truth, I have no interest in this place, this culture, or these people other than the fact that they sit on a gold mine of oil and we would do well to harness such a resource, even if it means playing politics. I know that this is a drastic change from my more moralistic perceptions, it is because I am here. Perhaps with our help these people will one day we worthy of respect, but until then, we are babysitters. This is a harsh opinion, and frankly I am not concerned whether you agree or not. Of course, I do not want to upset anyone further, hence the end of this blog.

My complaints aside, I am thoroughly enjoying my work, my experience with KBR. I am meeting plenty of people from my own country, as well as indigenous cultures from places as foreign as Arizona, Illinois, and Canada! I am taking this opportunity to expand my horizons. I regret that I will not be able to share these experiences with you, but accepting my personal diary style experiences as such is too difficult for some people. I agree that it is unfair for one temperamental child to ruin an opportunity for the whole class but in this case, I do not have the time, nor the patience to deal with the individual.

Thank you for your loyal enjoyment and interest in my personal experiences here. I will remind all of you though that you have both the moral and legal freedom to prevent yourself from exposure to anything you may find unsettling or unsuitable. Don't look at it.

Now I know that my frustrations have surfaced in this final posting, but please know that it is only targeted to those who have the self-righteous misconception that I care what they say. From now on I will experience the world the old fashioned way, with a pencil and paper journal. Thank you all, and take care of yourselves.

Peace Returns
Coke Light again flows throughout land to feed the mighty Tigris and Euphrates

I just want to extend thanks for the efforts of all those gracious, and ever diligent readers of this blog. Thanks to your persistence and unfaltering commitment to our cause, peace has again returned to Iraq. We again have Haji Coke Light in the DFAC. Never before has such an enormous endeavor been successfully completed. Due to the voracious will of so many, we have brought the "soda of life" back to this desert land. Hope can again fill the hearts of these people, and this nation. The cities will be rebuilt. Government will be returned, and prosperity will abound. Coke Light will flow from every faucet, and only the sounds of laughter will be heard in the streets. The networks will report joyful celebration in the streets of Fallujah (except for CNN, which will be so bitter at our success, will choose to cover the latest report on John Kerry stating that he is more qualified than Bush, which of course makes him more qualified).

Thank you all. I have never been more proud. Now if you will excuse me, I must pop a can now.

-Pooh out.

By Popular Demand
In depth analysis and insightful commentary on the political ramifications of current events.

In light of recent accusations of self absorbed ramblings, and childish perspectives regarding the world around us, I have decided to make this blog a forum for real philosophical, and political debate. The first topic of discuss, I hope, will affect the most discerning of intellects. Some of you may find this discussion far too upsetting and unsettling for your tastes. While it is dangerous to jump into such difficult conversation so quickly, I believe that it is an issue that must be addressed. Without further delay, we will proceed.

The dining facilities are currently out of Diet Coke. As many of your know, Diet Coke is as addictive as any of the more dangerous "street" drugs out there. While recreation drug use is not a condoned activity among either the military, or KBR, most look the other way in regards to Diet Coke. This issue cannot be allowed to continue lest we desire to collapse the coalition and destroy all we have worked so hard for.

Before you question my logic, please understand, our dining facilities are used by all forces stationed on bases controlled by American forces. This fact implicates all coalition forces as well. Currently, we have a wonderful working relationship with other units, but should they be deprived of their daily supply of Diet Coke, one can only imagine what animosity may develop against American contractors and forces. Once insurgency pockets recognize that our forces are distracted and tensions are high amongst each other, attacks will increase, and stability in the region will decrease dramatically. Eventually, this supply shortage could affect other aspects of our endeavor to rebuild this country. Our allies such as Spain and Great Britain could decide that we have endangered their forces, and proceed to withdraw their otherwise essential military support. (*ahem, try not to laugh, just work with me on this*) As well, our friendly Estonian military personnel could decide that all 10 of them are just going to abandon us and go on home.

While I imagine that Gen. Sanchez has made this a top priority, I can only hope that others in the diplomatic community recognize the severity of this problem. How can we expect to convince the United Nations of the existence of WMD if we cannot even prove to them the existence of essential diet soft drinks on our own military bases? As we have already seen, many of our allies have already made the decision to pull out of the area under the public explanation of volatile environment, the truth is that our inability to provide cold, refreshing Diet Coke is the root cause.

While you may believe that this is a selfish endeavor addressing only my own concerns, believe me when I say that I am truly concerned about the long term ramifications on our global community. In fact, this inability in performance could jeopardize our future participation in such important organizations as the United Nations, and the European Union. What will this world do without our friends in the global community? Oh, that's right, continue to rely on us for absolutely everything.

Well, I hope that our little discussion has shed light on the truly horrific conditions we are given here. Likewise, I hope this has given you a new appreciation for all that this world has to offer, and how truly blessed we are to be living in a country where Diet Coke can run freely from the tap if we so wished.

-Pooh out.

Sickness Abounds
Viruses of many kinds plague our desert home

Howdy All,

Greetings to you my patient and ever faithful fanfare. I have returned from the ether to blog a blogging blog. (In case you were wondering, that was my attempt at using the word "blog" in noun, verb, and adjective form in one sentence. Much like "smurf")

Much has happened in my absence, but little of any importance to our adventures. I spent my days (and nights) plugging away at the schedule updates, and completed them to near perfection. Following which I have proceeded to conduct as little business as possible. Unfortunately, people around here do not seem to understand my desire to work hard for 2 weeks out of the month in order to slack off for the remainder. For those of you who may disagree with this rather ingenious work ethic, my response to you is to come to Iraq. I welcome you to 7 day work weeks at a minimum of 12 hours a day. If, for some reason, you are not able to make it over here, just recreate the experience for yourself. Please conduct the following exercise:

1. Go to work

2. Stay at work for a minimum of 12 hours.

3. In that duration, go to the same place for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This establishment must be within walking distance from you office, and cannot be open except during those designated meal times.

4. If you find you need any necessities or other purchasable items, please proceed to a local corner store and purchase only those things available at that store, including music, movies, magazines, toiletries, food, etc. This is the only store you can shop at for the duration of the exercise.

5. At the "end" of your day, you must live in a single room trailer or tent (your choice) within walking distance from your office. Of course you will not have cable or phone/internet service in your living quarters. It is preferable if you live in the middle of a vacant lot, and in a bad part of town where there is a threat of gun fire. You may not use city water, but instead must have water supplied to you by a subcontractor to fill up a tank located outside your trailer.

6. Of course you will have small pleasure to amuse yourself. Read, or write a letter. You must only correspond with those you love via email or by payphone on occasion. If your office has a fitness center, I would encourage you to exercise. (You know you could use it. It's obvious)

7. Try to get some sleep, and then get up to do it all over again.

8. Rinse and repeat about 365 times. (Or until you get the point)

Okay, that was a fun lesson in working with KBR. I hope you have enjoyed today's class and found it both rewarding and educational.

Anyway, I hope life is finding you all well. The world is a strange and challenging place, but each of us can manage to make a small step forward, and take the world with us. You don't have to take your steps quickly either. Move at the Pooh pace, and you will get to where you need to go in good time. Just leave the house early. Take care, and keep well.

-Pooh out.