Email Blogging Fun!

Okay Everyone,

We are going to try something new. I am going to post to the blog via email so that we can get this frequency up and you have something to look forward to everyday!

I know. I know. Keep yourself calm. It’s exciting, but we have to see if it is going to work first. We’ll kick this off with a story.

So, as some of you know, I live in dorm style barracks, and we have communal showers. Now, this morning I awoke to discover that I did not have my hair and body was that I love so much. After much searching I assumed that I left is down at the showers and that it would be there waiting for me upon my arrival. I gathered my showering equipment, slipped on my sandals, and headed to the showers. Upon my arrival, I was faced with shock and disappointment. My Old Spice hair and body wash was nowhere to be found. My fellow dorm-mates have failed me. Someone had stolen my gel. People cannot be trusted, even with such sacred things. It is a sad and disappointing world.

Well, I had a bar of soap I snagged from one of the hotels, so I made due. It was not the same.

I haven’t felt clean all day.

-Pooh out.

Blocked

It just goes to show you....

After having informed everyone that I would be blogging again about my continued experiences here in Iraq, I stumbled upon a road block.

I was finally issued my working computer, and quickly discovered that Blogger is a blocked site within our network. While this fact does not preclude me from ever posting again, it does inhibit my frequency considerably.

Don't worry though, I will still hop onto this out of network system on occasion to post tidbits, and eventually I will purchase my own private computer with which to continue these festivities. Just be patient and keep checking in every once in a while.

For now I will leave you with this - Another great dust storm has hit the camp and it's just like I remember. As in, "I remember why I left the first time."

At least when it's dusty the sun isn't so bright. Gotta stay positive!

-Pooh out.

Wagons (Middle) East

I'm back in Iraq with a new company, a new job, and a brand new paycheck. It's been two years since I've been here, and I've left two people at home this time. I know everyone thinks I'm crazy, which is probably true, but I'm a capitalist at heart (which is probably an oxymoron because most capitalists don't have hearts according to the media). I'm here for the money, the professional experience, the quality of life, and the Coke Light.

Basically, I'm back to dealing with all those things that I listed in my last post. Since I'm back, I decided to resurrect the blog as well. I hope that I can post as frequently, or more than last time. I'm here with a whole new gig, so there will be new things to show and tell.

For now, I will keep this short and sweet, but as I get settled in and fully set up, I'll start posting frequently, so keep on checking in.

-Pooh out.

Wagons West

Howdy Ya'll,

Okay, so with my imminent departure from this place, I thought perhaps it was time to reflect about I will miss about this place.* Here it goes...

In no particular order:

• Rolling brown outs from generator switchover
• Random anti-terror measures at the DFAC (i.e. - "use this entrance, no that one, no this one.")
• Chicken, chicken, chicken!
• Low flying helicopters....with guns.
• Hot, young reservists....with guns.
• Walmart greeters....with guns.
• Nothing says "I love you" like a mortar attack.
• Arabic television
• Pull tabs on cokes
• The metric system
• Portable chemical toilets at 02:00
• Fashion TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Pirated hajji movies.
• Coke Light (which actually tastes different than Diet Coke)
• Military acronyms
• Visible armband identification (bye bye CAC card)
• Concrete barriers (outside my front door)
• Black water (like waking up to the smell of coffee, only not)
• $3 haircuts
• Up armored vehicles
• Outgoing rounds

*Some items will not actually be missed. In fact, some items will be forgotten promptly upon departure. The chicks with guns will be remembered, along with Coke Light.

-Pooh out.

Coolest Bike Ever! 

Toscana Countryside 

Blogger Duress

Howdy Ya'll,

Okay, so I was "persuaded" into blogging immediately. She's much tougher than I am, so I am apt to comply with such intimidation. Here it goes...

Alright, so OMD and I were indulging in reminiscence at our previous year here in Iraq, when we came to the startling realization as to why we were truly here. Socks and underwear.

Now, I do not want to steal his blogging thunder, because I have seen a proof of his planned discussion of said undergarments (literary contemporaries often collaborate in fits of genius) and his is truly an inspired work. My post will serve merely as a forward to his enlightenment.

Men are curious creatures, and class distinctions can be found among them by observation of their unmentionables. To elaborate, life is more than just boxers and briefs, because it encompasses levels of use and condition.

All men grow attached their undergarments of choice. Athletes attribute performance to lucky socks, while businessmen will don their lucky briefs to ensure a successful contract negotiation. It is all very silly, I know, but I'm wearing a good pair of boxer briefs right now, and I think I'll have a good day as a result.

Furthermore, men are weary to part with such garments of luck and good fortune. Of course, it's more than likely a result of the male inability to plan ahead on such matters. See, we don't go buy new socks and underwear when we need them. In our minds, it is an act of excess and extravagance reserved for only the most privileged of society. New socks without holes or broken elastic, and the fresh pair of undies exhibiting no holes, broken waist bands, or unsightly sag in the seat, are a rich man's indulgences.

With that, we discovered the true purpose of our employment in this war zone. I will no longer take on the disgrace of shoddy undergarments. I will not suffer the shame of exposed toes, nor will I hang my head while delicately handling a pair of structurally unsound underwear upon discovery of a new hole.

I have raised my standard of living. I have achieved class distinction. I will have new socks and underwear. I will live a life of excess in which I can dispose of undergarments indiscriminately at the first sign of failure. I will purchase multiple pairs of underwear. I will have a plethora of quality socks at my disposal. I have been reborn. I am a new man. A man of new socks and underwear. Envy me.

-Pooh out.

Gamma Fitness

Howdy Ya'll

Okay, with summer upon us, there is the annual uproar of renewed fitness and new optimism. I have heard many discussions and goals from coworkers, friends, and overly eager strangers caught up in the fitness bug.

In the spirit of cooperation and good will, I wish to promote a fitness regiment with sure fire results. While not a new idea, it has gained new popularity, especially in the Hollywood studios.

It is actually quite simple, and only requires two factors:

1. Accidental exposure to a near lethal dosage of gamma radiation.
2. Combined with deeply recessed feelings of anger and resentment.

After that, a steady regiment of loss of temperament, frequent opportunity at battle with inhuman foes, and a nagging desire to "smash" things, will have you feeling not only strong and lean, but practically invincible.

The only downside, perhaps, is the probability of a greenish hue one might exhibit during a workout. Results will vary.

Good luck with your fitness goals and enjoy the new you.

-Pooh out.